Was the advice given to this woman (who we will call Clare) who I had the opportunity to interview about her personal menopause journey. For this blog, my friend and colleague wanted to tell their story anonymously.
Clare is 40 and started to feel and experience the symptoms of perimenopause. Her mum was 40 when her menopause journey began and her Grandmother just 37. Clare is a mum of two boys, so together, when we wrote this blog, we felt that sharing this story would help others that might be in a similar position and support those relatively young menopausal mums, caring for a young family.
Her symptoms, I guess in so many ways bare similarity to many women. But the question is, how does it feel to be younger, facing into a world that for you is way too soon?
In February 2023, Clare had not one, but two menopause tests, both returning positive results.
When I asked her, Clare said that turning 40 didn't bother her at all. What bothered her more was the symptoms of perimenopause at what felt like an early age, even though In some ways she may have expected her life to unfold this way due to family history.
Low mood, a sense of feeling flat.
Forgetful, which has become a long standing joke.
Dry skin
Spots
Itchy legs, almost bite style symptoms
Random hair growth
Dry eyes
Brain fog
Tiredness
Night sweats
Hot flashes
Joint and muscle pain
Breast pain
Nausea
Food sensitivity
Weight gain
Rumination and inner negative self talk
Clare's attitude has been to lean into the symptoms and particularly the weight gain thus increasing her levels of activity in running and cycling. All of her life, she has been a slender, fit, attractive woman and certainly to me so confident with a zest and energy for life. Like so many of us, these changes to body and mind haven't been easy to work through.
When it comes to mental health, Clare talked to me about her relationships with others and how a sense of irritability has crept in; an annoyance with those nearest and even not wanting to be around the people she loves. She has felt disconnected at times and what doesn't help, is that Clare also feels that her fuse has shortened so coping with this hasn't been easy.
The experience that Clare has had with her GP and other medical professionals hasn't been the best and very much not like the experience of other women I have met when talking about menopause. A string of cancelled appointments, ongoing blood tests and conversations that in some way felt like they boiled down to 'just not being old enough' to be going through menopause yet!
You see the challenge is, that HRT at 40 might not be recommended. The risks might be higher when it comes to the chances of breast cancer and on top of this, Clare is an RA (rheumatoid arthritis) sufferer and is at high risk for osteoporosis due to having been diagnosed with osteopenia in her spine. When I spoke to Clare, it was clear that on balance, moving to HRT and the ever-real breast cancer concern was a balanced risk that she is willing to take if it means that HRT could help to reduce the longer term symptoms that continue to cause her such a challenge.
As things look today, Clare wants to continue to keep the conversation going with her GP. Maybe even look at private health care, albeit menopause and women's health care in her county is difficult to come by.
For now, Clare is trying 'menopace' but doesn't really see that it's making a big difference; taking collogen daily which will help with muscle and bone density; taking on board more protein through more vegetables and supplements; and homeopathic remedies to support the menstrual cycle. But she says that there is a feeling of 'kicking menopause down the road' which is frustrating, after all, we all want answers to the big questions in life and to feel supported.
In her research and discovery phase of perimenopause and menopause, Clare has found that the following has helped her personally:
Taking a well rated peri menopause supplement.
Magnesium bath salts to help with sleep.
Daily exercise where possible even a brisk walk.
Letting go of old clothes she is holding onto in case they fit again and instead buying a few new items that she feels really good in.
Trying to eat as ‘clean’ as possible.
Clare recommends that If you have developed ‘lion mane’ hair a Keratin blow dry is a great investment. And always tell your loved ones how you are feeling.
Right now, Clare is having more good days than bad but the future she hopes will bring some news that will help her to get back to living without worry, reduced pain and symptoms and bring closeness to those she cares for and loves.
