Let's talk night sweats, brain fog and (excuse me) vaginal dryness. Episode 4 Menopause and Me
Oh hello night sweats, welcome to my world!
Honestly, I think I'm only at the start of this journey. My night sweats are intermittent, have no rythym and just creep up on me when they fancy. They come and go but I never know when to expect them.
I started to get night sweats around a year ago I think, albeit difficult to remember. Most recently though, I've had my first experience of the need to change my clothes half way through the night and grab a towel to lay on top of the sheet so that I'm not laying on soaking wet bed covers. I was in two minds to change the sheet completely but it's so unfair to the person who is soundo next to me. What do you do in these scenarios girls because separate beds is not an option....
The night sweats was a weird one for me. I've heard the stories from friends and my mum, but I honestly didn't believe it to be as bad as it was where you literally feel like you are laying in a pool of water.
Now let's pause for a moment on brain fog. OMG!
Firstly, useful to report that since I've been on the patches, it has lifted and my world of memory has improved vastly. But before this period of perimenopause brain fog for me was becoming crippling.
To say that my short term memory was defunct is a bit of an understatement. From trying to find things to trying to remember detail like names, dates or even where I had been the day before, it was a pretty tough period. The frustration that brain fog causes for us as individuals is only the start because it has an impact on others too.
Relationships are tested at home but on top of this, work can become challenging too. My work leads me to navigating several clients at any one time which includes corporates, organisations, charities, one to one work and small groups. There have been many times where the only way I could cope with work load would be to make copias amounts of notes, separate books for separate clients and giving myself enough time between meetings to make sure I knew which conversation I was about to have, who with, why and to take time to remind myself of our last interaction. This might sound usual, but the difference is that in the past I didn't need to do this, I could bounce from one activity to the next, adapting, engaging but always knowing where I was and what I needed to do. In the past, I was able to react quickly, remember things easily, and generally felt more alert. Working with this now and changing the way I do things has been a journey. As I said, the fog has lifted since I have been on HRT but I'm aware it's something I need to continue to work with.
It's important that I acknowledge and share with you that some people are more understanding than others when it comes to the fog. I have found myself explaining what's going on for me to those who I work with and feel I can trust. The response is mixed. Some people are brilliant with it and reassure me, encouraging me to take my time and to not feel pressured, others are less patient and will show this by saying things like "I sent that to you last week" or "I told you that already" where body language and disappointment is clear in their facial expressions.
The way I get through it is to just be OK with what is happening in the moment. I know its not my fault and that it's a period of my life where I am trying my best and if my best isn't enough for someone then that's on them not me. I bring compassion to my situation just like I am compassionate with those who maybe less patient with me. I do everything I can to prepare for meetings and work related interaction as well as in social moments. I breathe, create space and take a moment to think whenever anything comes up that may be challenging because of the fog. I know I'm doing my best.
Oh and..... if I use something, once I've finished I try to put it away straight after, back in its rightful place so that things going missing doesn't cause unnecessary problems at home (like loosing the car keys!).
Probably the most taboo of all symptoms of menopause is vaginal dryness and low libido.
Again, I want to start by saying that there is hope. HRT has reversed my symptoms already (I'm 8 weeks in as I type) but there are creams on the market that you can get via prescription or over the counter. They are hormone based creams where estrogen plays a part in replacing lost lube.
Reduced estrogen levels are the main cause of vaginal dryness. Estrogen is a hormone that helps keep vaginal tissue healthy by maintaining normal vaginal lubrication, tissue elasticity and acidity. Other causes of vaginal dryness include certain medical conditions or hygiene practices. Check out 'Gina' website for brilliant blogs, information and support on vaginal dryness https://mygina.co.uk
When i write next time I'm hoping to share some stories with you from women who have reached out to me. Thank you, you know who you are.
For now, thanks for following, let's keep the conversation alive and women, lets take back control.
Love Stephanie x